Verbs act as the
engine of the sentence. To strengthen your style, pay attention to the verbs
you choose.
Avoid “to be” Verbs
Avoid overusing
forms of the verb “to be,” such as is,
are, was, were, am, being, and been.
These verbs do not convey action but act as a kind of equals sign, linking one
part of the sentence to the next.
You are a nice dresser. You = a nice dresser.
When possible, choose to convey detail and action rather than
indicate a state of being.
Weak: The sun was really bright on the
snow.
Stronger: The sun shone brightly on the
snow.
Weak: Being a nice person is a good way
to be happy. (Three forms of “be”)
Stronger: Kindness leads to happiness.
Avoid Passive Voice
Constructions
Passive voice is a
backward sentence that focuses too much on the recipient of an action rather
than the doer of the action. To fix this problem, be clear about who is doing
what. Determine what the real subject of the sentence is and what it is doing,
then reword accordingly.
Passive: The
election’s outcome was decided by the Supreme Court. (Who did the deciding? The
Supreme Court.)
Active: The Supreme Court decided the
election’s outcome.
Passive: The suspect was being held in
custody by the police. (What is the real
Passive: Accusations were made and feelings were hurt. (Who accused?
Whose feelings were hurt?)
Active:
The supervisor accused his coworkers and hurt their feelings.
Avoid unnecessary helping
verbs
Helping verbs
(forms of be, have, can—to name a
few) perform a legitimate role, but they are often used unnecessarily. Notice
how the second example in each pair is clean and to-the-point.
The day had
been hot.
The day
was hot.
We had
worked all day and had had a good time.
We worked
all day and had a good time.
She had
been being rude all night.
She was
rude all night.
Verb Power–Exercise A
The
following student writing sample overuses forms of the verb “be.” Rewrite the
sentences using a stronger verb.
1.
The snow
was gentle as it fell to the earth and was like tiny winter kisses on my
cheeks.
2.
I was
slow as I stepped through the blizzard on my way to do some Christ-mas
shopping.
3.
I stopped
because I was distracted by the pretty red, green, and white gowns at the dress
store that was large.
4.
I wasn’t
daring enough to venture inside, but I enjoyed seeing dresses that were perfect
and matched my holiday mood.
5. I was
excited to reach the toyshop where I was hopeful I would find a present
